martes, 16 de diciembre de 2008

Blogger Spam

Desde el principio, establecí la moderación de comentarios en este blog para lidiar contra el molesto spam. De vez en cuando, algún hijuesú intenta meter publicidad gratis y pues simplemente se le rechaza y ya. Generalmente entienden a la primera. Pero este sanababish cuyo correo aparentemente es camr_inc@hotmail.com ya me tiene harto con los comentarios que manda a todos los artículos de mi blog que tienen la palabra Nokia... ¡Para promocionar su negocio virtual de teléfonos desbloqueados de otras marcas!

Damnit, camr or whatever your name is. Apparently, you don't even speak Spanish, so let me tell you something about the blog entry you've been spamming for the last weeks. If I say that "después de verlo bien, más de uno se va a arrepentir de haberse embarcado hace apenas 6 meses en un plazo forzoso de dos años por un iPhone 3G"... well, it is not a good thing. It means something like "after taking a closer look, more than one iPhone 3G owner will sadly regret to have signed merely 6 months ago a 2-year service plan for a very expensive, shiny, blingy, but useless piece of (shit) glass". Not a clever place to try to sell smuggled iPhones, don't you think?

In other words, compared to any real smartphone, I think that the iPhone Sucks. Big time. Believe me, I' ve used it: the web browsing is so cool with the finger gestures and the movies look awesome on that big screen. But hey, I can easily turn my Nokia E71 into a 3G/Wi-Fi hotspot, dial a phone number or write an email with just one hand without having to watch the screen the whole time; I can also send and receive images, videos & files any way I want (bluetooth, IrDA, e-mail, data cable, MMS), or copy text from a document or web page (ie, an address or a phone number) and send it by SMS. And my phone's audio sounds just as good as that from any current MP3 player. Can your iPhone do all of these things? Maybe you could enable some of them, it would mean that you've cracked your gadget and thus lost any chance to get a reparation if it gets broken unless you fix it by yourself.

Why on earth, then, would I indulge to allow propaganda in my blog for gadgets that I don't even like that come from a nice, little, gray-market, cellphone-smuggling business? Man, you really need to work on those people skills. This is rude. It's like me showing up uninvited at your place at Christmas Eve and sitting at your table with your wife and your kids and your parents and your brothers and your family in law and your honey glazed ham and saying out loud: you know? I must say this - your wife is ugly. Period. She's so ugly that everybody says she's a Sun: no one should dare to see her straight to the eye without using a soldering mask. Oh, please... don't give me that look. You have to admit that she's so ugly that if you put her right next to Freddy Krugger the guy would look like Brad Pitt. But hey, don't be sad. No hard feelings, right?

Here, this will cheer you up... look at this. Here's an amazing catalog of hot escorts that are waiting for you to call. Of course they're not prostitutes, who said that? Do I look like a Pimp to you? I resent that: They're just young, hard working ladies that happen to like to party and socialize and are good enough at it to get actually paid. Think about it. REALLY think about it. You shouldn't be seen in public with this disgusting aberration of nature (with all due respect, Ma'am): you should be seen in public with one of these gorgeous girls. Have some self-respect, man! And hey, entre nous... if you work them and talk them right, you can easily get them do anything you want. And by anything I mean ANYTHING... but sex, of course. Unless you tip them on the side, if you know what I mean. But I wouldn't advice you to do so, though, because most of them are walking Petri Dishes of sexually transmitted diseases. And some of them aren't even natural born females. Really, you'd be surprised to find out which are the ones with a little something extra. But hey... nobody's perfect, right?

Man, look out! what are you doing? You've just let the catalog fall into the fireplace, silly! But don't worry, since while we were chatting in here, my business partners have installed a giant billboard on your roof with all the ladies' pictures, names and phones written on it. You're welcome, try not to lose them this time.

By the way, try to keep an extra eye on your kids, don't allow them to step too close of the billboard when on the roof... it's booby trapped to prevent vandalism and they could get seriously injured. As a matter of fact, If I was you, I wouldn't let your kids go to the roof at all... what kind of father are you? there are gas tanks and pipes over there! electricity wires! They could even fall, you know? It's irresponsible! Gosh, you make me sick. All of you. You're disgusting. I'm out of here...

But wait, I almost forgot: Merry Christmas, camr! Hope you finally got the nerve to order that kick-ass, multi-speed, remote-controlled drilling buttplug that you see every day, first thing in the morning, at your e-mail inbox along with other fun toys and medications to chose from. Yes, I subscribed you to all of these spam lists. You're welcome. Now go please yourself with the buzzing new toy that Santa brought you.

1 comentario:

Jose HC dijo...

Hola TaYo,
Concuerdo con lo de los spammers... yo tambien estoy harto (y eso que akismet me los bloquea ... pero yo tengo que oficialmente borrarlos). En cuanto a lo del iPhone tambien concuerdo. Me gustaria oir algunos de tus comentarios acerca del iPhone siendo usado (o no) en companias... de mi parte y por el momento yo estoy en contra de tal cosa mas que todo por cuestiones de seguridad y productividad... esto lo comento en mi blog http://m-strat.org.

Saludos,
Jose HC